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Is "Deschanel" a verb yet?
A few simple tips: Don't promise when you're happy, Don't reply when you're angry, and Don't decide when you're sad.
Ang tunay na pag-ibig ay yung taong nag-a- i love you sayo every night tapos pinapatunayan nya every day..
Once I press send I take no responsibility for what I've said.
I will not explain what I mean, apologise or care.
Fools aren't serious.
My business card is someone else's business card covered in cocaine.
You can call it a video game, but if I have to get off the couch to play it, as far as I'm concerned it's a workout video.
No eye contact before coffee.
Sorry. House rules.
Never even start a relationship with someone that doesn’t have the balls to apologize.
If you don't know the difference between right and wrong, wrong is the fun one.
"It is what it is" is the nicest way I know how to say I don't give a shit & I hope you get run over by a motorcycle gang.
Hey, you! Keep your head up, you're so much better than you believe, I promise.
Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.
One time I smashed my face into a keyboard and accidentally wrote the fifth Twilight book.
Französisch sprechende Einwohner von Belgien nennt man Wallonen.
Love actually has nothing to do with your heart! It's all chemical reactions inside of your brain.
This lady's kid. . . wow. . .looks like her dad is her cousin AND her grandpa. . . also, there MAY have been meth involved. . .
I can't wait to find love and date it briefly.
11. In a hotel with a TV system, press 2-2-1 down on the remote, then hold OK. AND VOILA! Free pay-per-view! :D
Best line said by a guy to a girl: The day I'll go on knees for another girl...Is the day I'll tie a shoe lace for our daughter. :)
"...then Steve Jobs ate a peanut, then he farted and made a poop then he farted again" - My 4 year old pretending to read the Steve Jobs Bio
The road to my office is paved with the souls who hit send and then call to see if I got their email.
Halt deine Hand eine Minute lang auf einen heißen Herd und es kommt dir wie eine Stunde vor. Verbringe mit einem hübschen Mädchen eine Stunde und es kommt dir vor wie eine Minute. Das ist Relativität. – Albert Einstein.
My contact lenses are trying to melt my eyeballs right out of their sockets. Time to nerd it up with the glasses. Nerds are hotter anyway.
I've spent pretty much most of this Friday the 13th walking behind random strangers saying - I wouldn't walk there if I were you.
Did Michael Jackson ever find out if Annie was OK?
I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at.
Girls that take off their high heels & walk barefoot in a club will never ask you to wear a condom. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!
A game of Truth-or-Dare with only ex-girlfriends is the most terrifying nightmare ive ever had.
If my throat was a chimney & you were Santa I would let you come down it.
Flies should be called "shit bees".
Pigeons always look like they're jamming out to an invisible iPod.
Pure love burns for eternity
A one night stand burns when you pee
Neighbor's party is super loud. Can't sleep. Probably gonna take the roofie I'd planned to use on Clive Owen if I ever met him.
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