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1
Everybody knows that Count Dracula could destroy the entire Cullen family with his hands tied behind his back.If I ever have a funeral I plan to jump out and scare all my friends to death because I'm afraid to die alone.Again, if you're in a disagreement w/someone and the best you have is 'you're stupid and/or dumb', or any name calling. You lose.You know you're really drunk when all you can talk about is how you're really drunk.Don't be surprised if someone who's been on the planet, two or three times longer than yourself, knows a goddam thing or two that you don't.Man does not live by bread alone, unless he orders the Pizza Hut $10 dinner box.I see you correcting my grammar, and raise you get a life.I get so paranoid when I'm stoned. I just gave the 'Larry David suspicious stare down' to myself in the mirror for the last half an hour.Is 29 too old to request that your family disowns you?I've spent the day baby-proofing the house. No baby is getting in here. No sir-ee. Don't trust 'em. Not one bit.That common awkward moment when you look in your wallet and all you can say is "shit".Oh how sweet, my coworker just said Good Morning to me! It was a little tricky, but I managed to remove the pickaxe from her head eventuallyThank you all for the kind words, support and love. I'm doing great. Headed home shortly and then back to work.Even if I don't have a date for Valentine's Day, I'm still going to wear a bikini made from chocolate-covered cherries and dirty thoughts. |
